Random Conversations with Keohi
K: So last night my invisible sensei came in my dream and told me that I had to go fight the oni (monsters in Japanese). Then the oni have beng hey (weapons in Cantonese, but I must still battle them on my honor.
S: What’s beng hey?
K: Weapons. You know why can’t I get up to the gods and visit them on Olympus? I need to do battle!
S: It’s very high up.
K: Are they real? I need to fight monsters. Where can I fight real monsters?
S: What kind of monsters?
K: Like Medusa. Is Medusa still around?
S: Didn’t someone kill Medusa?
K: Oh, yeah. Perseus. But what monster can I kill if there aren’t any? I need to fight some real monsters!
S: Hmmmm. Well, maybe some of them are extinct now.
K: What are the monsters that aren’t extinct? I think I had better climb up a really high mountain, and then take a cloud and ride the cloud to Olympus and see the gods. Are those gods around?
S: I think they might be in Greece.
K: So Jack told me that he and his Dad built a boat with a place to sit and then they both went in the boat and it went over the waterfall. Can I build a boat and go over a waterfall? Hey, what if I just go and jump down the waterfall?
S: Are you sure that Jack went down the waterfall in his boat?
K: Yes. And then he built a spaceship and went up to space and he had a party there. He told me.
S: Maybe he went on a waterfall. Maybe in Australia.
K: Yes, I am sure. I want to go. Or I can just go to this waterfall here.
S: Gee, maybe he should invite you the next time to that waterfall he went on, how’s that?
K: Well he ran out of paper. So I didn’t go.
S: What do you mean he ran out of paper?
K: He ran out of paper! So I couldn’t go because the spaceship couldn’t deliver the piece of paper! For my birthday I am going to build a spaceship and then here’s what I will do, I’ll get up to the mountain and then tell the airplane man-
S: The pilot
K: Yes, the pilot that this is the paper about my party
S: The invitations?
K: Yes the invitations. And then the pilot can give this so that everyone remembers to come and go to the spaceship. Or I can just get on a cloud.
To preface, he has recently watched the Pepsi ad on youtube from 2002 featuring sumo wrestlers and various Euro football players.
K: Why are those sumo wrestlers drinking Pipsi?
S: Maybe they don’t know it’s not healthy. Pepsi, you mean.
K: So is the Pipso make their bones bad? Do you think that they listen to their mommies about this? And the football players were also drinking Pipsi.
S: It’s a television commercial. So it’s not real anyway.
K: What’s a television commercial?
S: It’s a short show where they try to sell you things. Like Pepsi.
K: But why do they want to sell Pepsi when it’s bad for their health?
S: No, well, they get paid money for putting on the show for Pepsi.
K: Maybe they drink it when they’re about 45?
K: Do you think I can wear my sumo loincloth on the football court? Did you see that sumo wrestler and the ball hit him in the nipple, and he didn’t feel it. Probably because he is a grown-up.
S: Even grown-ups feel it when a ball is kicked in their chest.
K: He was in the goal. So I can wear my loincloth.
S: I think you should wear your loincloth only at home because otherwise people might laugh and hurt your feelings. Besides, people don’t wear loincloths to play football.
K: Well how come they were wearing loincloths on the football court and playing football! And they drink Pipsi!
S: They do that because the someone is paying them money. The company pays them the money to wear the loincloth and play football and drink Pepsi. Because it’s bad for your health if you’re an athlete.
K:So I will wear my loincloth on the football court and someone will pay me money for it.
S: No, that’s the TV commercial.
K: Well who can pay me money to wear my sumo loincloth! The government?
S: The government will not pay you money to wear your loincloth.
K: How come I can’t marry two people?
S: Because you can’t marry two people because one will get very sad.
K: Why will one get sad?
S: Because you’ll spend all of your time with the other one. People don’t want to share their marriage.
K: Well, why not! I want to marry two people. How can I marry two people.
S: People don’t marry two people at the same time. Only in some countries.
K: I’ll have to go to these countries. What countries are they that you can get married to two people, India?
S: Uhm. Yes, well, I don’t know. Not in all places. Actually, I don’t know. I’ll have to find out.
K: I’ll go to India.